Patient-020

Anomalous Object

ID:	020
Name:	"The 'Jak Dealer"
Threat level:	Sootclid
Filed:	November 1st, 2021
By:	gem

Object File ID: 020

Threat Level: Sootclid

Prescribed Medication

1400 mg of quetiapine and 1 mg fentanyl daily, administered via Sproke

One hit of the 'sylum polycule's crack pipe, followed immediately by a 'sylum mandated black trans neovag goon session + BBC therapy. This is to classically condition this patient into not being a racist rowdy bigot, y'all.

Routine "soyquoting" (see Patient Description) with Patient-020's own 'jaks in storage: this has proven to reduce chuddy tendencies and might even remove anomalous properties with further treatment.

Containment Procedures

Patient-020 is to be locked in a soundproofed standard schizo-containment cell, furnished only with a sheetless mattress. The walls are to be kept coated with a waterproof alloy to prevent materials from adhering to it. Patient-020 is NOT allowed under any circumstances paper, computers, pencils, sharp objects, viscous liquids, or any other objects that can be used to create instances of Patient-020-1 or to feasibly "soyquote" someone with. Patient-020 is to be monitored during shitting, as to make sure the subject does not reproduce Patient-020-1 with fecal matter. Patient-020's cell is to be exclusively maintained by personnel who are politically left-leaning wh*te middle aged men with stubble and bald heads. Escape of Patient-020 risks a RB-Class "Rangeban" scenario as subject would be able to access Xitter and soyquote politicans en-masse.

Patient Description:

Patient-020 is a 31 year old male, 158 cm tall, with unkempt stubble and male pattern baldness. Patient-020 shows signs of extreme pallor and has legal blindness — necessitating the use of very thick glasses. Subject shows a mild obsession with the Marvel franchise, the Science (peace be upon xim), and consuming Soylent with bugs. After containment by the 'sylum, subject experiences frequent emotional outbursts of feral rage, followed by inconsolable soy-whining and nooooo-ing. Intermittent explosive disorder is a potential diagnosis.

Patient-020 was initially recovered after the Soysylum was alerted to a sudden increase of deaths due to spontaneous onsets of terminal Soy Related Mental Disorders in otherwise insusceptible populations. After scraping the Sharty and 4cuck archives to determine the cause, the following post was found on ████, 20██.

Has anyone else ever come into contact with the 'jаk dealer? I don't know if he's still around, but one year ago he offered me his "exceedingly rare" 'jаks for free. He said to me that if you soyquote anyone with one, that person will immediately lose all hair on their heads, grow an unkempt layer of stubble, and become cripplingly addicted to Nintendo Switches and trаnny porn, and finally dіе within a week due to malnutrition from only drinking Soylеnt. He claimed to have ended the soyduelling careers of hundreds and fears his own 'jаks may one day end his life, so he blinded himself and keeps all of them locked inside a briefcase. No one knows what his 'jаks look like or how many of them he owns.

Patient-020 was later identified and captured on November 3rd, 20██ in cooperation with Swaglord, after 3 trans queens were discovered to have spontaneously cracked their eggs and promptly acked after participating in /lgbt/ thread #23005███. In order to limit the spread of any circulating Patient-020-1 instances, Operation "Clean Stable" was enacted on 4cuck's /██/ board, and the honeypot known as ██████ █████ was popularized among posters of the "Soyjack" meme.

Patient-020's anomalous property manifests as the ability to create and utilize what appear to be stylized drawings of bald men with glasses, denoted "Patient-020-1." Patient-020, when provoked, will "soyquote" a victim with 020-1 instances. This is done by prefixing any known linguistic output of the victim with a greater-than sign, then pairing it with an instance of 020-1. Upon doing this, the victim's appearance will rapidly morph in the span of 1 minute to align with that of the 020-1 instance. The new Patient-020-2 instances have moderate retrograde amnesia, and significant personality changes that make the victims unrecognizable compared to their pre-anomaly selves. Known instances of Patient-020-2 have a 50% survival rate within 4 weeks of exposure. This is usually due to severe physical deformities, or in many cases, ritual suicide caused by learning of what they did in their past lives. It may be possible to keep Patient-020-2 instances alive indefinitely, by means of making the world a safer and less bigoted place to avoid shattering their worldviews. As a matter of fact, many Patient-020-2 instances are safe and sound within this very Soysylum right now.

Residual expose to instances has been determined as a risk factor in developing a SRMD. Kuznetsov, Satoko et al. (2027) estimates that up to 10% of the United States population may have experienced second-hand exposure to instances of Patient-020-1. Up to 20% of 'sylum staff members have been confirmed to have used bigoted imageboards around the same time as Patient-020's peak activity in the 'Chan sphere, but have since been rescued from the alt-right pipeline by some concerned friends.

Experiment-020-A

Patient-020 may be useful in the emerging field of curing bigots of their bigotry with the power of science. Patient-020 was instructed to "soyquote" a captured racist chudcel (D-0041) on a mock imageboard, using a Patient-020-1 instance depicting the "Classic Soyjak" showing solidarity for BLM and LGBTQQIP2SAA+ lives. The results are recorded below:

[D-0041 is exposed to the Patient-020-1 instance]

0:00 - Seriously? Did this newfaggot nigger just soyquote me? Vgh, what a fucking greasy kike slide-thread making yid jew nusoipoo...

0:07 - Huh... My skin, its, its so- oh my Führer, its so pearly white now, and, and I'm growing a heccin' beard! I'm finally not a shitsk-

0:35 - Wai- NO! My- m-my hair! What the fuck, these clumps, its just falling-

0:58 - why is it so blurry, my hair, my eyes, my skin, whats happening to me, my, no, please no, not like this, not like heccin' n-ni-nn-n NO NOOOO

1:34 - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING TURN ME INTO AN IRL SOYJAK!!!! THINK OF HOW FUCKING HURTFUL THOSE IDIOTIC STEREOTYPES ARE YOU FUCKING BIGOT NOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YOU NOW I WON'T HAVE ANYMORE CONSOOM SAVINGS FOR MORE HECCIN' FUNKO POPS BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DONATE IT ALL TO WHOLESOME NIGGERINOS AS REPARATIONS FOR MY RACIST ANCESTORS!!!!!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGH WHYYYYYY!!!!!

While under care of the 'sylum, D-0041 acked 3 weeks later, due to sepsis after trying to IV inject Soylent with a used heroin needle. D-0041, shortly before expiring, cited that "Oh my FUCKING SCIENCE, the HECCIN' blaq KANGZ in WHOLESOME 100 KEANU REEVES AFRICA are STARVING because of RAYCISS WHITEY, and i WILL personally travel to NIGGERHELL in BURUNDI to save xhier souls from EVIL ABRAHAMIC RELIGION and the UNWHOLESOME EVIL G*D who wont let me have GAY SEX with my BULL so i can CRUSH RACISM in the name of BLACK LIVES!" How D-0041 knew of OBJ-333 is as of yet unknown. D-0041 has posthumously been endowed the "Eco-Hero Nigger Wholesome Peace Prize" award for his brave service to upholding the pillars of progress, even in the afterlife which ISN'T HECCIN' REAL OKAY BECAUSE SCIENCE SAID SO! Preach, queen.

Experiment-020-B

Patient-020 may prove useful in the remote and untracable assassination of undesirable public figures, due to its high mortality rate. Politician "Mike Kurderer" was scheduled for extrajudicial execution, due to being literally worse than Trump, on top of literally worshipping Hitler and planning to literally create a sequel to the holocaust which is JUST like those heckin' terrible sequels to my favorite childhood kinos (wtf the holocaust is a childhood kino now? you're a fucking bigoted). Mike Kurderer was soyquoted by Patient-020 with a hanging nazi chudjak, chosen due to depicting a fatal suicide, and as to avoid the possibility of killing a wholesome transwxmxn. On January ██ ████, Mike Kurderer's shirt was seen inexplicably fading from a suit into a red swastika t-shirt, while his chin was simultaneously atrophying. Shortly after, he was seen leaving the stage while shouting racial obscenities at news repoters. Footage of this event has successfully been deemed a fake news by labelling it as an AI-generated deepfake doodoo on PolitiFact. 24 minutes later, the subject was spotted doing a heckin' hate crimerino shooting at a ghetto dollar store in Detroit, killing 3 wholesome BIPOC. After seeing no more innocent humans of diversity to terrorize, the Patient-020-2 instance procured a wheel of rope from an unknown source, and promptly hung himself at the checkout aisle, causing 2 more African-Americans to commit suicide at the sight of such pathetic chuddery. As using Patient-020 can have unintended and possibly dangerous consequences, any public uses WILL need to be pre-approved to ensure the end result is safe and beneficial. We cannot risk a Patient-020-1 instance causing harm to soykind ESPECIALLY if it ends in creating more racist chudcels.

Incident-020-1

On August 15th, 20██, Patient-020 was reported to be acting erratic during lunch. Upon cafeteria staff telling Patient-020 to take his mid-noon meds, Patient-020 pulled out an instance of Patient-020-1 depicting a morbidly obese BIPOC with multiple demeaning awards, and soyquoted the staff member. Patient-020 then proceeded with an escape attempt, soyquoting a total of 53 personell that were involved in recontainment. Patient-020 could not be recovered on premises, and one helicopter was reported to crash after its driver was soyquoted to depict a JPEG-compressed baby. In total, 11 staff members died outright due to complications from transitioning into Patient-020-2. 5 staff had to be humanely euthanized either on request based on chronic pain, or due to becoming schizophrenic-violent and no longer aligning with our values. Strangely, a large percentage of victims had only mild to no effects from being directly exposed to Patient-020-1. The predominant shared traits between these incidents are vision conditions, pattern baldness, and having used any social media service within the past 5 years. The leading theory is that these patients had been exposed to Patient-020-1 during an unknown time in the past, and were therefore already soy. On August 16th, 20██, Patient-020 was sighted in San Francisco, over 12,000 kilometers away from the Soysylum in Israel. Patient-020 was able to buy a plane ticket to America after escaping the Soysylum, despite multiple 'sylum personell being present in the area at the time. Patient-020 was then able to soyquote multiple prominent politicans and community leaders in the area, including the CEO of ████████. Local authorities were alerted, and Patient-020 was captured and transferred to the branch location in █████, California for temporary holding. Staff members involved have been reprimanded for gross negligence. Recovered Patient-020-1 instances show a composition of fecal matter, toilet paper, and human blood. Containment procedures updated.

Interview-020-1

Requesting his medication dose be tripled. He's getting a bit craaay craaay now. >Dr. Kiketenstein, Soylent™-Certified BBC Therapy Guru.

[START LOG]

Dr. Tranes Wrights: heyyyy 020, hows it going? vibin' still?

Patient-020: Redditor! Hippie! You're soy! Soy! Soy I tell you!

[Patient-020 attempts to use sign language to activate Patient-020-1, however, the drugs have made xis hands too weak to convey any information]

Patient-020: You stupid fucking chud! Seethe! Sage! Be quiet wojak spammer! Vaush just BTFO'd you, you soy fuck!

Dr. Tranes Wrights: You know,

Patient-020: You! You're the soyjak! You look like this! You say this! You are this!

[Patient-020 starts doing the "monkey dance" on the table while crying and dribbling a basketball. It is unknown how the basketball got there.]

Dr. Tranes Wrights: You know what.

[Dr. Tranes Wrights pulls out an archived Patient-020-1 instance, a stylized drawing of a smug bald man with a pen and greentext paper, bearing resemblance to Patient-020]

Dr. Tranes Wrights: You look like this and say this, too.

[END LOG]

One of the 'jaks recovered from the 'jak dealers 'jak folder, titled "sasylum.png." The significance of this is unknown.