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ITT: unfunny countrycoaler spam

Nigersimiae americana specimens are to be kept individually in an airtight cell made out of steel reinforced concrete measuring 3 meters in height, 3.5 meters in length and 3 meters in width. All accessories present in the cell must be immovable and made out of antimicrobial material, exceptions to this rule may be granted for good behaviour. Poured concrete slabs are to serve as beds. No mattresses are to be provided because of an incident in which a new subspecies of Stachybotrys chartarum specializing in metabolizing seminal fluid into Ergotamine was discovered in the crusty beddings of patients SOY-056-34, SOY-056-28 and SOY-056-7.