Patient-069

From The Soysylum
Jump to navigationJump to search
Asylum Patient
ID: 069
Name: Coomer
Threat level: Medium
Filed: 11/11/2011
By: Skibiditoilet

Patient File ID: 069

Threat Level: Medium

Prescribed Medication: PornHub, Kemono.su, Playboy magazines, Reddit, Rick and Morty

Patient Description[edit | edit source]

Patient-069 is a patient of Soysylum, and is the first, and currently only one being treated with computer enhanced erotica. Patient-069 is a 28 year old male. 069 shows signs of sleep deprivation, depression, signs of strained eyes, and dilated pupils, likely to be cause due to extreme erotica consumption and elevated dopamine. The patient also shows signs of baldness with likely cause due to extreme masturbation. He has the right arm bigger than the left one, due to him using his right for his so called "hand relief sessions". A recent check of 069's blood samples by Dr. ██████ shows extremely low levels of testosterone, deficiencies in vital nutrients such as Vitamins A, B, C, E, K, and also having iron deficiency anaemia. A sperm sample test also conducted by Dr. ██████ shows low levels of sperm count. Patient-069 wears a distinguishable white tank top, now yellowed due to not being washed in a long time, although attempts of the 'sylum to wash it have been unsuccessful, due to the patient's resistance of such action. He also wears blue pants, which are unzipped during all times. Patient-069's personality is totally revolved around getting that dopamine rush from masturbation all times. IQ tests have been conducted in the patient on a regular basis since he has been admitted into the Soysylum, and it shows a steady decline from 101 score in 2012 to a score of 88 in 2023, a decline of 13 points in 11 years, likely linked to porn. His porn tastes have also drastically changed during his admission going from Softcore to [REDACTED] during his stay. It could be that his brain gets accustomed to whatever he is watching, and decides for more exotic material every time, although scientists are still researching the subject, and it has not yet been verified by Snopes yet. An analysis of his search history shows the main sites he browses are: Reddit, PornHub, Kemono.su, likely used for pornographic material consumption.

Soypecial Containment Procedures[edit | edit source]

Patient-069 is to be kept in cell number ███ at all times. The cell is to be fitted with one bed, a desk, a bookshelf, and one jar, which is to be cleaned on a weekly basis. The patient is to be supplied with one laptop, one television, and one VHS player. Erotica magazines are to be supplied on a weekly basis, with the old ones being disposed. New VHS tapes of the cartoon series "Rick and Morty" are to be supplied to the patient once a new season is launched. The supplied laptop must be restricted to the local Soysylum Network, as to protect the rest of the internet from his behaviour. 069's cell is to be monitored 24/7 by a security camera installed by the security team. In case of Patient-069 being seen missing from his cell, Code ███ is to be enacted, and facility block █ is to be evacuated immediately, and a lockdown is to be enacted soon after. Contention Squad 12 "Goon Stoppers" are to be sent immediately to search for the patient.

Addendum[edit | edit source]

While all of these are perfectly normal and encouraged activities the reason why Patient 069 has been put custody is because he STOLE from the poor sex workers by pirating their art. And due to possession of [REDACTED]. When questioned on why he committed such heinous acts he said

"So what about it? They're all just a bunch of whores. I'll show you guys how I did it. ██████ █████ ████████ █ ███████ ███ ████ ██████ ██ ██ ████████ ███ ███ ████████ ██ ███"

Treatment[edit | edit source]

The patient's case has been deemed hopeless by Dr. ███████, due to the patient's brain being rewired by porn beyond reversal. Numerous treatments have been attempted in the past and more are currently in trial. These include but are not limited to:

The treatments still in use are only for palliative purposes, as the other treatments have been deemed ineffective or potentially dangerous, especially [REDACTED]. Rick and Morty has shown to moderatively help with his depression, with its easy to comprehend humor. The status quo has shown to be effective, as changes in his routine have only been proven to worsen his well-being, and caused him to go anxious, even aggressive.

Euthanasia has been considered but it was declined by Dr. ████ deeming the procedure "inhumane" and "cruel".