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<pre>>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...</pre>
>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
<pre>>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.</pre>
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
<pre>>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88</pre>
>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88
<pre>>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.</pre>
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.
 
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<center>'''If you need to personally contact me you can do so at 'soysylum.helpline@gmail.com'.'''</center>
<center>'''If you need to personally contact me you can do so at 'soysylum.helpline@gmail.com'.'''</center>
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<h2 id="mp-tfa-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#FFFFFF; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>Featured Article</center></h2>
<div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:0.1em 1em 1em;"> '''Patient File ID: 005'''
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'''Threat Level: Soyclid'''
=== '''[[Patient-020]]''' ===
 
{{Patientbox|file=Greentext jak.png|id=020|name="The 'Jak Dealer"|threat=Sootclid|date=November 1st, 2021|author=[[User:Gem|gem]]}}
'''Prescribed medication: Sprike and Spoke (DO NOT MIX THE TWO)'''
Patient File ID: 020
{| class="wikitable" style="float: right;margin-left: 10px;margin-right: 0px;width: 300px;"
|+Asylum Patient
| colspan="2" style="border-style: none none none none;" |[[File:59050_-_SoyBooru.jpg|thumb]]
|-
| style="border-style: none none none none;" |'''ID:'''
| style="border-style: none none none none;text-align: right;" |005
|-
| style="border-style: none none none none;" |'''Name:'''
| style="border-style: none none none none;text-align: right;" |Nicknamed "Deformedjak"
|-
| style="border-style: none none none none;white-space:nowrap" |'''Threat level:'''
| style="border-style: none none none none;text-align:right;" |Soyclid
|-
| style="border-style: none none none none;" |'''Filed:'''
| style="border-style: none none none none;text-align:right;" |February 9th, 202Ϫ
|-
| style="border-style: none none none none;" |'''By:'''
| style="border-style: none none none none;text-align:right;" |Professor Chudstein
|}
 
= Patient Procedures =
Patient-005 is to be contained in 5x5 metre room. An entire wheel of rope must be supplied into this room every week. Under no circumstances may the topic of █████ or █████████ be brought up in earshot of 005.
 
= Patient Description =
Patient-005 is a brown-skinned male humanoid, and living relative to [[Patient-041]]. Xher face is distorted to the point of being barely recognizable, and tattoos appear and disappear on xher skin that take the shape of spades, hearts, and other crude shapes (The meaning of these has yet to be determined). 005 speaks a slurred mix of Italian and Spanish.
 
[[Patient-005]]
 
 
 


Threat Level: Sootclid


== '''Containment Procedures''' ==
Patient-020 is to be locked in a soundproofed standard schizo-containment cell, furnished only with a sheetless mattress. The walls are to be kept coated with a waterproof alloy to prevent materials from adhering to it. Patient-020 is NOT allowed under any circumstances paper, computers, pencils, sharp objects, viscous liquids, or any other objects that can be used to create instances of Patient-020-1 or to feasibly "soyquote" someone with. Patient-020 is to be monitored during shitting, as to make sure the subject does not reproduce Patient-020-1 with fecal matter.
Patient-020's cell is to be exclusively maintained by personnel who are politically left-leaning wh*te middle aged men with stubble and bald heads. Escape of Patient-020 risks a RB-Class "Rangeban" scenario as subject would be able to access Xitter and soyquote politicans en-masse.


<!--        News        -->
<!--        News        -->
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| id="mp-right" class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:2px solid #11EE11 !important; padding:0; background:#FFFFFF !important; vertical-align:top;"|
<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>
<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>Hello again, Doctors. It's me, Dr. Soyberg. It is with great sorrow that I announce that I no longer have any interest with soysphere politics. Since beginning school, I've realized there's more to life than this small echo chamber of (now) 12 year old shitter immigrants. Just like the many popular image boards before it, the Sharty, and soon a plethora of other 'jakking websites will become infested with "tradcath groypers" and literal children. I was fortunate enough to join in late 2023, just in time to experience the last golden age of this IB. '''THOUGH''', as we head into October, it seems like the magic that was there in 2023 is seemingly gone. And so, with that, I retire. This doesn't mean the website will shut down, it just means I won't come on here. To whoever still regularly comes on this website (or even to any nusoisluttas that find this website on accident), I say to you what many others before me have said; never stop 'jakkin, 'teens.
If some writeGOD expands upon [[The Soysylum|this article]], that would be greatly appreciated.    
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
'''To clarify, the only admins on this website currently are me and Angeleno. -Dr. Soyberg'''
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Revision as of 05:40, 14 February 2025

>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.

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