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nojak
<blockquote>{{Patientbox|file=nojak.png|id=030|name=Nojak, Oreo Review Show|threat=Soyclid|date=Monday, June 16th, 2021|author=Dr. Larpson}}
Patient-030, otherwise known as “Nojak”, is an Israeli OREO™ consumer. Nojak’s age is unknown, but soyentists theorize he is around 30 years old. He was first reported to us in a gay bar in Israel, after becoming feral and violent towards a 100% valid transbian wQmVn that refused to serve him OREO™ wine. Nojak follows the religion of (((Judaism))), and is a proven [[OBJ-777|gem]].
== Capture ==
After five more reports about this [https://soyjakwiki.org/Soyjak bald man with glasses] came out, one of the Soysylum’s divisions came out and captured Nojak. After multiple tests, Nojak was proven to be mentally unwell and unsuited for life in the open.
== Behavior ==
Nojak requires OREOs to be fed to him every day. If this demand is not satisfied, then “Nojak” will become feral. Various forms of medication were ran on him, and Dr. Soyberg logged the behavior of the individual after the experiments. They are as followed:<blockquote>''“Extensive BBC therapy may lead to an odd sense of humor in the Nojak specimen. However, this is a better alternative than the specimen becoming feral.”''
-Dr. Soyberg after treating Nojak with BBC therapy.
''“The /calm/ procedure preformed on 030 appears to postpone the animal-like outbursts 030 will do when not fed OREOs. It is recommended that you lace 030’s OREOs with /calm/ to prevent any outbursts.''
-Dr. Soyberg after treating Nojak with /calm/.
''“030 seems to have a very fond liking of [[Sproke]]. 030 suggested that the staff serve OREOs with Sproke filling to other patients. We are considering this idea as I write this.”''
-Dr. Soyberg after letting Nojak drink Sproke.</blockquote><blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
Latest revision as of 09:26, 19 July 2025
Asylum Patient
ID:
030
Name:
Nojak, Oreo Review Show
Threat level:
Soyclid
Filed:
Monday, June 16th, 2021
By:
Dr. Larpson
Patient-030, otherwise known as “Nojak”, is an Israeli OREO™ consumer. Nojak’s age is unknown, but soyentists theorize he is around 30 years old. He was first reported to us in a gay bar in Israel, after becoming feral and violent towards a 100% valid transbian wQmVn that refused to serve him OREO™ wine. Nojak follows the religion of (((Judaism))), and is a proven gem.
After five more reports about this bald man with glasses came out, one of the Soysylum’s divisions came out and captured Nojak. After multiple tests, Nojak was proven to be mentally unwell and unsuited for life in the open.
Nojak requires OREOs to be fed to him every day. If this demand is not satisfied, then “Nojak” will become feral. Various forms of medication were ran on him, and Dr. Soyberg logged the behavior of the individual after the experiments. They are as followed:
“Extensive BBC therapy may lead to an odd sense of humor in the Nojak specimen. However, this is a better alternative than the specimen becoming feral.”
-Dr. Soyberg after treating Nojak with BBC therapy.
“The /calm/ procedure preformed on 030 appears to postpone the animal-like outbursts 030 will do when not fed OREOs. It is recommended that you lace 030’s OREOs with /calm/ to prevent any outbursts.
-Dr. Soyberg after treating Nojak with /calm/.
“030 seems to have a very fond liking of Sproke. 030 suggested that the staff serve OREOs with Sproke filling to other patients. We are considering this idea as I write this.”
