OBJ-777
Object File ID: 777
Threat Level: Sootclid Soyfe
 | |
| ID: | 777 |
| Name: | The Gem that Saved the Sharty |
| Threat level: | Soyfe |
| Filed: | September 20, 20██ |
| By: | gem |
Object Procedures[edit | edit source]
OBJ-777 is to be stored in a glass case, protected by no less than Ϫ security lasers, in a 2x2 meter lead-lined vault stored in the ██████ Soysylum warehouse. The door to OBJ-777 is to remain locked at all times, and can only be opened by resoyrchers working on OBJ-777 The door to OBJ-777 is to remain locked at all times, and can only be opened under approval by both Dr. Soystein and 3 senior resoyrchers. Under no circumstance should any staff or patients be allowed to enter OBJ-777's containment room or view OBJ-777 directly, except during a Ӧ-Class "Brimstone Winter" scenario.
Object Description[edit | edit source]
OBJ-777 is an unusually high-quality round-cut "fancy vivid blue" 9,000-carat diamond, with a soyjak-shaped inclusion of an unknown carbon substance inside. It was originally found in the ███████████ ██████ mine of Sweden in 1869, of which it was then passed through the soyral families until eventually making its way into the Soysylum (even doe it was actually discovered by the world's swarthiest nigger in a Sudanese coal mine, stop rewriting history chud). OBJ-777 was previously displayed in the Svenska Beat National Museum of Gems until its dangerous soynomalous properties were identified (see Incident GEM-SE).
OBJ-777's true appearance is only visible through soycurity cameras or any other means of procuring a digital image. Upon viewing OBJ-777 with the naked eye, it will cause schizo hallucinations that replace the original appearance of OBJ-777. These hallucinations have been universally reported to be "gemmy," even in those with mutism and ESLs who don't have an equivalent term in their language. Descriptions of the hallucinated object have varied greatly, ranging from depictions of other soyjaks to [REDACTED].
After 1 total minute of exposure, the subject will become a OBJ-777-1 instance. OBJ-777-1 instances will have a compulsive obsession to view OBJ-777, and will become violent when seperated from it. It is possible to cure a OBJ-777-1 instance with amnestic meds, but any further exposure, no matter how brief, to OBJ-777 after will immediately reinfect the subject with OBJ-777-1 (see Incident GEM-CB).
After 5 total minutes of exposure, the subject will cease all movement. The subject's body will then start to crystalize from toe to head into a substance similar in appearance to OBJ-777. Snopes has proven that it is impossible to reverse or stop this process once it has started. After 41 seconds, they will become OBJ-777-2 instances. This process has been reported to be "gemmy" by affected subjects.
OBJ-777-2 instances are faceted statues that resemble the original subject, made of the same material as OBJ-777, and with similar carbon inclusions as faces. Radiographic analysis reveals that the interior is made of solid diamond, and that no internal organ structures have been preserved. It is currently unknown if OBJ-777-2 instances are sentient and thus still have Soyjak Rights.
OBJ-777-2 instances have been reported as being "gemmy" in the sense that they are made of gems, though they appear to have no soynomalous properties on their own. It may be extremely profitable for the Soysylum to produce and sell OBJ-777-2 on the market as cheap gem-quality gemeralds. However, that would be heckin' cruelerinos as we don't know whether OBJ-777-2 instances can still feel pain as they cannot heckin' express themselves.
Testing Logs[edit | edit source]
Testing Log 1[edit | edit source]
This test was to analyze the effects of short-term OBJ-777 exposure on 'jaks.
0:00 - [Subject D-88 is introduced to OBJ-777]
D-88: umm what is thi- OH MY FUCKING NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON IS THAT A HECKIN' LIMITED EDITION "CHAOS GEMERALD COBSON" NFT????!?!?!?!?!? THIS IS SO FUCKING GEMMY!!!!!! OH MY BABY-FAUCI IN A WHEELCHAIR I AM SO TAKING PHOTOS OF THIS FOR MY INSTAGRAM REEL!!!!!!!!
1:07 - [Subject D-88 is removed from OBJ-777 to evaluate psychological effects]
D-88: YOU STUPID FUCKING CHUD GIVE ME MY GEM BACK RIGHT NOW YOU STUPID PISSBABY NAZI FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Resoyrcher Norsk: Meds and BBC now, D-88. Just calm down, take some heckin' deepbreatherinos, and tell me what's wrong
D-88 FUCK YOU CRACKER THAT WAS THE GEMMIEST GEM I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE THAT GEM IS MY WAIFU IT'S MINE MINE MINE GIVE IT BACK NOW STOP TRYING TO HOARD ALL THE GEMS TO YOURSELF YOU FUCKING RICHWHITEMANNAZIPISSBABY FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
2:05 - [Subject D-88 is reintroduced to OBJ-777]
2:09 - [Upon seeing OBJ-777, Subject D-88 starts jumping up and down with excitement before hugging OBJ-777]
4:25 - [D-88 starts dry humping OBJ-777]
5:53 - [D-88 suddenly steps away from OBJ-777, then stands still]
6:01 - [Crystals are seen forming on D-88's legs]
6:34 - [D-88 is now entirely converted into gems. OBJ-777-2 instance removed and placed in storage]
Testing Log 2:[edit | edit source]
This test will determine the subjective appearance of OBJ-777 to various patients and 'jaks. 'Jaks are exposed to OBJ-777 for 10 seconds and them immediately removed, then told to describe what they saw to staff. Live reactions and spine-tingling testimonies are recorded below:
| 'Jak Name | Reaction | Testimony |
|---|---|---|
| A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak | Subject starts soyfacing and screaming "yoooo" before pressing his face against OBJ-777 | "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, it was so gemmy, like it was the most bone-chilling, spine tingling, slow-burn, jumpscare free, character driven, genre defining, gemmiest A24 kino I've ever seen in my entire LIFE. It's a shame I only saw the first 10 seconds of the trailer, but duuuuuuude, it was a kinomatic moment to rival Captain America lifting THORS FUCKING HAMMER in Avengers endgame like it was that gemmy. you WILL tell me the film name so I can watch it on my 10 different streaming services" |
| Classic Soyjak | Subject starts soyfacing so hard his jaw unhinges and hits the floor, reaching a total length of 130 cm. This is actually heckin' normal in some 'jak species, stop looking into it. Subject appears to be speechless. | "OH MY FUCKING BLACK TRANS JOE BIDEN WAS THAT A HECKIN' SUPER DUPER MEGA GEMMY "WILLY WONKA AND OOPA LOOMPA GOLDEN TICKET 2 PACK FUNKO POP??!?!?!?!?!" THATS SUCH A HOLY GRAILERINO LIKE THAT HECKIN' FUNKOPOPERINO IS LITERALLY WORTH 1 MONTH OF PAYING FOR MY SAN FRANCISCO POD APARTMENT'S RENT!!!! YOOOOOOOOO!!!! THIS IS SO GEMMY IM GONNA SLAM A CRAFT IPA WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE!!!" |
| "Irwin," a known gem-hating extremist from the 'cuck | Subject starts to salivate, and subject's tail starts wagging. | "It looked like an anime-flavored Hot Pocket. But it was more than just a Hot Pocket. To me, it was the return of the golden age of 4chan, it was the ruination of the Pepe and Wojak newfags, no, it was the obliteration of all underage /pol/ wojakposting shitters and stupid shitflinging soyfaggot spammers. Now, to put it in your own disgusting, twisted words, it was very... gemmy." |
| Patient-005 | Subject's face starts deforming rapidly. A 005-B "Saw the gem award" appears on the subject. High-pitched noises heard from the subject. | xhe said some niggerbabble in broken spanishtalian about it being a "gemmy gooning 'p" over and over idk i dont speak shitalianish -Dr. SwedensonAddendum: Testing the 005-B "Saw the gem award" on a soyjak reveals that it implants false memories of having seen OBJ-777's true form. This does not cause subjects to become OBJ-777-1 instances. Otherwise, it does not differ from a normal 005-B isntance. |
| Patient-041 | Subject emitted a high-pitched squeal upon seeing OBJ-777, before screaming "yes" over and over again. Notably, subject started throwing a troonper tantrum when removed from OBJ-777, despite being explicitly told xhe would only be exposed for 10 seconds max. It took gifting xer 1 copy of Omori and 10 minutes of reassuring her that xhes a cute transwxman to calm xer down. | "it's a mirror with me in it ^_^!!! and in the mirror was literally miyuki-san from lucky star :O which means i was finally a real girl which is like, so gemmy!!!!!! but then i looked at my reflection on the glass and i saw i'm not an anime girl anymore ;-; im so dysphoric right now please let me in again or i will ack >_<"
Addendum: Patient-041 started showing signs of OBJ-777-1 shortly after. Xhe has been administered amnestic meds. The threshold for OBJ-777-1 infection may vary in some high-risk patients. |
| Patient-1488 | Subject kneeled down in prayer while facing OBJ-777. Subject cried tears of joy. | "i saw but a mere glimpse into hyperborea. it was. so. fvcking. gemmy. but i was denied access because im 0.03% slav which means im not white enough. if i stayed there just a bit longer, maybe i would have been purified into a 100% aryan ubermensch and allowed access into hyperborea... but i have a mission to do on earth. 1488 TND TTD!" |
| Junior Resoyrcher Cobson | Note: This is a test to see if its possible to describe OBJ-777 without using any words related to gemminess. Cobson was made aware of OBJ-777's effects before this test.Subject started screaming "The BBC" repeatedly, increasing in pitch with each scream. | "It was a heckin' ge- it was like, a ge-ge-ge, a 50 inch black dildo, it was black, very black, it was a gem-ge-very black dildo, and it was made with a shiny, sharty-saving, glistening, black, ge-gemmy- fuck. Sweetie, its gemmy, that's the only word I can think of."
Addendum: Cobson was caught trying to break into OBJ-777's holding room at 3 am, indicating that he may be infected with OBJ-777-1. OBJ-777's security has been upgraded. Cobson has been given meds, bbc, and amnestics. |
| Patient-862 | Note: This is a neutralization attempt.Subject remarks that "This is the gemmiest piece of cheese I've ever seen." Subject stares intently at OBJ-777 for 4 minutes and 50 seconds, until suddenly the subject starts screaming and punching OBJ-777. Subject is heard screaming "DIE OUT YOU'LL BE STABBED IN THE FUCKING THROAT https://derpibooru.org/images/2222773 https://derpibooru.org/2065473" (yes, he actually said the links in real life) After Ϫ total minutes of OBJ-777 exposure, subject teleports out of the containment room and attempts to kill all present researchers, despite none of them having mentioned My Little Pony or Barney. 4 resoyrchers died before Patient-862 was contained again. | [REDACTED]
Addendum: Patient-862 seems to not remember exactly what OBJ-777 was after this incident, but has a negative perception of it. Some high-risk patients might be able to resist the effects of OBJ-777 or otherwise react unpredictably with it. You WILL get clearance before trying to neutralize anyone with this |
Incident GEM-SE[edit | edit source]
On September 11, 20██, the Svenska Beat National Museum of Gems opened its "Hidden Gems" exhibition to the public. OBJ-777 was among the 6 million dollars worth of gemeralds being displayed. None of the organizers were made aware of OBJ-777's status as a "cursed gem" before the opening, leading to its display as a central part of the exhibition. Organizers also handed OBJ-777 without double masking and using the Apple Vision Pro, therefore they died and became OBJ-777-2 instances. When the museum was opened, guests initially thought the OBJ-777-2 instances were part of the display, boosting the popularity of the exhibition. Local police were called after guests started rioting about their views of OBJ-777 being blocked by hundreds of diamond statues. The FBI was called in to investigate after local police stopped responding. The FBI contacted The Soysylum when the government realized there might be a NOG-class "Mass Chimpout" event in this building.
When MTF Cobby-420 "Gem Alarms" was sent to contain the area, they found that many soyjaks had gone feraljak over being forced away from "the gem" by other 'jaks, which caused them to start killing each other en masse. MTF Cobby-420 then found hundreds of diamond 'jak statues circled around OBJ-777. It kind of looked like mudslimes around the Kaaba, except with gems. Operatives quickly discovered that OBJ-777 had a different subjective appearance to everyone in the room, therefore its a heckin' cognitohazard so they just closed their eyes while recovering the object. Despite this, 3 operatives heckin' died on site, their sacrifices so that plus-sized black trans queens may continue to enjoy fried chicken today.
In total, 753 OBJ-777-2 instances and approximately 1,000 corpses were recovered from the site. 2,508 'jaks in total are confirmed to have died or gone missing during GEM-SE. With cooperation between the FBI and Soysylum Disinformation Agents, a cover-up story was made in order to redirect public attention away from Svenska Museum and to generate revenue for the new containment program (see Operation Twin Mcdonald's or something). All information related to OBJ-777 has been removed from the public record.
Incident GEM-CB[edit | edit source]
On March 16, 20██, Junior Resoyrcher Cobson was exposed to OBJ-777 for 5.3 milliseconds during a routine integrity check on the object's holding cell. Cobson had previously been amnesticized as treatment for OBJ-777-1 a few years prior. On March 17, Cobson requested to be transferred to work on OBJ-SOY, which was approved. On March 19, at 5:01 AM, the security lasers are tripped in OBJ-777's cell. Cobson was seen entering the containment room through the hallway cameras before the lasers were tripped. The cameras to OBJ-777's room had been cut before Cobson entered it, but by analysis of trace organic material found on OBJ-777, Cobson was ███████.
On-site security forces arrived within 6 minutes of Cobson entering, but by then, Cobson had already become a OBJ-777-2 instance. Notably, blood is present on the floor, and the text "HWABAG" has been debossed into the instance's chest at a depth of 1.5 cm. The OBJ-777-2 instance of Cobson is now displayed in the Soysylum cafeteria, right next to the decolonizing 19th century African Nkisi N'Kondi Power Figure.
Containment procedures for OBJ-777 have been updated. Under no circumstance should any staff or patients be allowed to enter OBJ-777's containment room or view OBJ-777 directly. The door to OBJ-777 is to remain locked at all times, and can only be opened under approval by both Dr. Soystein and 3 senior resoyrchers.
