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(there never was any "banner3", take your meds)
(guide better be on da main page)
 
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<pre>>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...</pre>
>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
<pre>>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.</pre>
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
<pre>>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88</pre>
>NUS01C4C4H8T3R41
<pre>>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.</pre>
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.
 
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<center>'''If you need to personally contact me you can do so at 'soysylum.helpline@gmail.com'.'''</center>
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<h2 id="mp-tfa-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#FFFFFF; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>Featured Article</center></h2>
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<div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:0.1em 1em 1em;">{{Objectbox|id=294|name=The Coffee Machine|threat=Sootclid|date=March 18th, 2001|author=[[User:Dr. Archivist|Dr. Archivist]]|file=2024 06 04 0lq Kleki.png}}
=== '''[[Patient-4332]]''' ===
 
{{Patientbox|file=Doedoedoedoedoe.png|id=4332|name=>deer|threat=Thrembo|date=June 31st 20XX|author=Dr. Larpson}}
=== [[OBJ-294]] ===
Patient File ID: 4332
Object File ID: 294


Threat Level: Thrembo
Threat Level: Sootclid


Containment Level: Safe
== '''Description''' ==
OBJ-294 is a standard coffee machine, with the only difference that it has a English QWERTY keyboard and that it runs a regular version of Linux. If fifty cents are deposited, OBJ-294 will turn on with text on it saying "Type in your drink". When this was discovered, there were 12 test logs, in which it disposed drinks within a 100-mile radius such as [[Sproke]], water, [[meds]] and many more.


== Containment Procedure ==
After fifteen uses, OBJ-294 will no longer run for 90 minutes. Oddly, after 90 minutes, OBJ-294 would restock. Many caustic liquids, such as acid having no effect on the cup from OBJ-294.


Patient-4332 is to be contained within a 9x6x9 meter enclosure, constructed out of a carbon-iron <s>based</s> keyed alloy with an inner pure iron lining and a two-door airlock with gas pumps. The patient is to be fed jellofied [[Sproke|sproke]] once a month through a soundproofed tube installed within the enclosure's ceiling. Personnel must remove their ears and put on noise-cancelling headphones before entering Patient-4332's enclosure, and they must keep the headphones on until they leave the enclosure. Under no circumstances may personnel within the enclosure remove their headphones because scary things will happen.


<!--        News        -->
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<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>Hello all, Dr. Soyberg again. I feel as though I owe you guys a proper news section, so, here it goes.


I recently stumbled upon a few comments on the Shlog regarding the potential transfer of this website to Rot and his clique. This will not happen. This website, our website, is the MtF foster child of me and Angeleno, and I do not intend for that to change. While I am not anti-Froot, I also don't want him to own this website, I have expressed my concern to Angeleno about this in the past. Angeleno himself hasn't answered my messages (he did once) or calls in a while so I don't know what's going on. Angeleno, if you are reading this, please respond to me. We need to discuss the future of this website.




<!--        News       -->
 
 
You also might be wondering why I'm sperging out over shit that happened over a month ago, It's mainly because Angeleno never informed me of making this "anon_humor" guy admin or this website "probably going to rot's group". This is all partially my fault because I rarely interact with soysphere politics nowadays.
-Dr. Soyberg
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<!--        Writing A New File       -->
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| id="mp-right" class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:2px solid #11EE11 !important; padding:0; background:#FFFFFF !important; vertical-align:top;"|
<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>Hello again, Doctors. It's me, Dr. Soyberg. It is with great sorrow that I announce that I no longer have any interest with soysphere politics. Since beginning school, I've realized there's more to life than this small echo chamber of (now) 12 year old shitter immigrants. Just like the many popular image boards before it, the Sharty, and soon a plethora of other 'jakking websites will become infested with "tradcath groypers" and literal children. I was fortunate enough to join in late 2023, just in time to experience the last golden age of this IB. '''THOUGH''', as we head into October, it seems like the magic that was there in 2023 is seemingly gone. And so, with that, I retire. This doesn't mean the website will shut down, it just means I won't come on here. To whoever still regularly comes on this website (or even to any nusoisluttas that find this website on accident), I say to you what many others before me have said; never stop 'jakkin, 'teens.  
<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>Writing A New File</center></h2>
 
Writing a new file is easy! For a new patient file, just search up an untaken Patient page (e.g Patient-XXX) and click '''Create an Article'''. You can also write a new patient file from the [[Main Page]]. There is a link that also says '''Create an Article'''. Similarly, you can click on a dead link, and the wiki will prompt you to create an article.
 
Of course you aren't limited to writing about a Patient. You can also write about a doctor or an anomalous object. You can also write a Lore article, which is about a Location or an Incident.
 
When creating a Patient File, it is recommended to click the add button, select ''Add Template'', then search up ''Patientbox''. From there, you can click on the box, then click ''Edit''. From there, you'll see a button that reads ''Show Options''. Check every option, except for the last option, unless you're nesting an article. There is also a Doctorbox and and Objectbox. These work similarly.
 
=== Inspiration ===
You can get inspired by one of the 'jaks in your 'jak folder. You can also come up with something out of the blue, or try to put a Soysylum-style twist on an entry from the Soyjak Wiki. If you're completely new to the Soysylum format, it is recommended that you read the existing patient files first, and learn from them. You can also edit your own article, if you think it needs some polishing.
 
 
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Latest revision as of 13:17, 12 June 2025

>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
>NUS01C4C4H8T3R41
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.

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