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__NOTOC__<syntaxhighlight lang="css">
<pre>>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...</pre>
>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
<pre>>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.</pre>
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
<pre>>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88</pre>
>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88
<pre>>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.</pre>
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.
 
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{{MainPageHeader}}As promised, here you go [[Patient/Object Classifications]]. -Dr. Soyberg
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<center>'''If you need to personally contact me you can do so at 'soysylum.helpline@gmail.com'.'''</center>
<div class="featuredstuff">
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<h2 id="mp-tfa-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#FFFFFF; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>Featured Article</center></h2>
<div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:0.1em 1em 1em;"> '''Patient File ID: 005'''
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'''Threat Level: Soyclid'''
=== '''[[Patient-4332]]''' ===
{{Patientbox|file=Doedoedoedoedoe.png|id=4332|name=>deer|threat=Thrembo|date=June 31st 20XX|author=Dr. Larpson}}
Patient File ID: 4332


'''Prescribed medication: Sprike and Spoke (DO NOT MIX THE TWO)'''
Threat Level: Thrembo
{| class="wikitable"
|+Asylum Patient
| colspan="2" |
|-
|'''ID:'''
|005
|-
|'''Name:'''
|Nicknamed "Deformedjak"
|-
|'''Threat level:'''
|Soyclid
|-
|'''Filed:'''
|February 9th, 202Ϫ
|-
|'''By:'''
|Professor Chudstein
|}


= Patient Procedures[edit | edit source] =
Containment Level: Safe
Patient-005 is to be contained in 5x5 metre room. An entire wheel of rope must be supplied into this room every week. Under no circumstances may the topic of █████ or █████████ be brought up in earshot of 005.


= Patient Description[edit | edit source] =
== Containment Procedure ==
Patient-005 is a brown-skinned male humanoid, and living relative to [[Patient-041]]. Xher face is distorted to the point of being barely recognizable, and tattoos appear and disappear on xher skin that take the shape of spades, hearts, and other crude shapes (The meaning of these has yet to be determined). 005 speaks a slurred mix of Italian and Spanish.


[[Patient-005]]
Patient-4332 is to be contained within a 9x6x9 meter enclosure, constructed out of a carbon-iron <s>based</s> keyed alloy with an inner pure iron lining and a two-door airlock with gas pumps. The patient is to be fed jellofied [[Sproke|sproke]] once a month through a soundproofed tube installed within the enclosure's ceiling. Personnel must remove their ears and put on noise-cancelling headphones before entering Patient-4332's enclosure, and they must keep the headphones on until they leave the enclosure. Under no circumstances may personnel within the enclosure remove their headphones because scary things will happen.




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<!--        News        -->
<!--        News        -->
| id="mp-right" class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:2px solid #11EE11 !important; padding:0; background:#FFFFFF !important; vertical-align:top;"|
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<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>
<h2 id="mp-itn-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#11EE11; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border-left: none; border-top: none; color:#ffffff; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><center>News</center></h2>Hello again, Doctors. It's me, Dr. Soyberg. It is with great sorrow that I announce that I no longer have any interest with soysphere politics. Since beginning school, I've realized there's more to life than this small echo chamber of (now) 12 year old shitter immigrants. Just like the many popular image boards before it, the Sharty, and soon a plethora of other 'jakking websites will become infested with "tradcath groypers" and literal children. I was fortunate enough to join in late 2023, just in time to experience the last golden age of this IB. '''THOUGH''', as we head into October, it seems like the magic that was there in 2023 is seemingly gone. And so, with that, I retire. This doesn't mean the website will shut down, it just means I won't come on here. To whoever still regularly comes on this website (or even to any nusoisluttas that find this website on accident), I say to you what many others before me have said; never stop 'jakkin, 'teens.
As promised, here you go [[Patient/Object Classifications]]. -Dr. Soyberg
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= TO DO =
* Make the front page look prettier
* Make a new logo
* Add in new articles
* Make the website over all look prettier[[File:Baba.png|thumb|friction dive tiger purple drive distinct wiggly lizards dye thirsty zany overt drain psychotic umbrella upset escape second hands tone point]]

Latest revision as of 09:39, 26 September 2024

>ACCESSING CLEARANCE DATA...
>PLEASE INPUT YOUR PASSWORD.
>14K1ll_4ll_k1kes88
>PASSWORD: ACCEPTED. WELCOME BACK, DR. SOYBERG.

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If you need to personally contact me you can do so at 'soysylum.helpline@gmail.com'.