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Welcome to The Soysylum, Dr. Soyberg.

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Featured Article

Asylum Patient

ID:	25116
Name:	Neutralplier
Threat level:	Soyfe
Filed:	2024-03-18
By:	Dr. Soystein

Soy Patient File: 25116

Real Name: Unknown

Description: Neutralplier or Patient 25116 is a male in his late 30's. He appears entirely physically identical to Markiplier Soyjak except for being completely bald. Bizarrely, no blood relation was found between these two patients. The main difference between these patients is temperamental: While Markiplier Soyjak is friendly and excitable, Neutralplier is distant and subdued. Neutralplier rarely shows any outward emotion and perpetually wears an apathetic frown. This flat affect does not mean that his internal world is a mystery, thougheverbeit.

Neutralplier was initially admitted to the asylum for a severe case of self-insert syndrome and a tendency to compulsively talk about his life to an extent that interfered with his daily obligations. He was eventually released after the staff concluded that he could live well enough on his own and that options for treatment were limited.

The following was transcribed from asylum security cameras.

Good afternoon, Neutralplier! It’s time for your routine check-up. Oh, hey, Dr. Soystein! Thank God, I was getting so bored just sitting alone in my cell. It’s been a pretty crazy day so far. So this morning I had breakfast and then I masturbated and then I played video games and then I had orange juice and then I made a thread on soyjak.par- Neutralplier, please. You know I want to hear all about your day, and I’m sure it’s very interesting. But this check-up is very important to get a sense of your overall health. So please, step onto this scale here. Hmm, I don’t know if I should, it’d probably be pretty embarrassing. I’ve been eating a lot lately. Have you tried the cafeteria pizza? Holy shit, Soystein. I’m telling you: to die for. Wash that down with some Sproke, oh my god, you literally can’t beat that. Neutralplie- But I don’t think eating that stuff is good for you. I’ve been watching this guy on YouTube, Chudjak88, he makes some pretty interesting points. He says that the Jews propagate low-nutrient high-calorie food to create a weak and submissive goyim population. He’s also made some good videos about how he can’t bree- Neutralplier, you’re aware of my Jewish ancestry, aren’t you? Do you think I’m trying to hurt you? …No, I’m sorry Dr. Soystein. That was insensitive of me. I know you’re trying to help me. *sigh* Thank you, Neutralplier. That’s a relief. It’s true. I just want to help you. The two share a moment and exchange weak smiles. I’m very glad we could come to an understanding... Now, if you could please just step here onto this scal- So the other day I was playing Mario Kart Wii and I really feel like it’s the peak of the series. Sure, MK8 added more characters and stages but I feel like Wii is where they achieved aesthetic and technical perfection. Although I do kinda miss some features from Double Dash such as- Dr. Soystein abruptly walks out, slamming the cell door shut behind him. Later, in the asylum break room... ...*sigh* …Dr. Soystein, is everything alright? You seem a little nervös lately. …Given the, er, rapidly decreasing severity of his condition, I’m making an executive call to release Patient 25116. Neutralplier. As soon as possible. Very väll, let us mäyk it official!

News

Hello, little goyim. It's Dr. Soyberg again.

It's been a hot minute since I've been on the Sharty and the post quality has gone down the drain. But I'm not here to bitch and complain about der Sharty again, instead I want to say thank you to the people that have so far contributed to this website and the worldbuilding they've put into every article. Specifically, thank you to the people that have stayed around updating articles. I swear, some of you have autism. I mean seriously, this pretty much a DNB of a website as much as that sucks to say. Nonetheless, this website will stay up with the help of my good 'ol pal Angeleno. A few months ago, I was hoping to overhaul this website, but with school (and me being a lazy selfish little fuck) starting back up again, it'll have to be on the backburner for now.

Writing A New File

Writing a new file is easy! For a new patient file, just search up an untaken Patient page (e.g Patient-XXX) and click Create an Article. You can also write a new patient file from the Main Page. There is a link that also says Create an Article. Similarly, you can click on a dead link, and the wiki will prompt you to create an article.

Of course you aren't limited to writing about a Patient. You can also write about a doctor or an anomalous object. You can also write a Lore article, which is about a Location or an Incident.

When creating a Patient File, it is recommended to click the add button, select Add Template, then search up Patientbox. From there, you can click on the box, then click Edit. From there, you'll see a button that reads Show Options. Check every option, except for the last option, unless you're nesting an article. There is also a Doctorbox and and Objectbox. These work similarly.

Inspiration

You can get inspired by one of the 'jaks in your 'jak folder. You can also come up with something out of the blue, or try to put a Soysylum-style twist on an entry from the Soyjak Wiki. If you're completely new to the Soysylum format, it is recommended that you read the existing patient files first, and learn from them. You can also edit your own article, if you think it needs some polishing.