Sproke

Sproke is a mixture of Sprite and Coke. It is known to be a sweet treat and is recommended in nearly all situations involving patients needing treatment and/or sating. DO NOT GIVE SPROKE TO 'LITAS AS A FATAL NUCLEAR REACTION WILL OCCUR.

Snopes has discovered that the mixture of sprite and coke massively increases the effects of medication we give to our patients, and can even be used on its own (in less severe cases). All drinks have currently been replaced with Sproke, and an electrolyte mixture to keep them properly hydrated. We have struck a deal with the manufacturer The ■■■■-■■■■ ■■■■■■■. With this deal, around 15 large, 50 gallon metal barrels containing the syrup used to make the drink are imported from Atlanta, Georgia every 48 hours, due to the large amounts of the drink needed to sate the patients. Bug juice can be mixed with the Sproke in the case of a shortage, but this is not recommended unless the situation is dire due to the fact that diluting Sproke can lead to the cells in patient's bodies killing themselves, causing severe brain damage. The first real usage of Sproke was for the treatment of the formerly shizophrenic Plierjak, who now works at the Asoylum as a nurse.

Throke

Previously, a mixture of Ϫ-Up and 'oke was considered and a contract between the Ϫ-Up corporation was in the works. However, after receiving a grant from the ■■■■-■■■■ ■■■■■■■, Doctor Fauci^{my beloved} found that Ϫ-Up caused 600% more fatalities than the traditional Sproke mixture and were found guilty by the WHO board of science. Ϫ-Up was subsequently sued by the ■■■■-■■■■ ■■■■■■■ for xopyright violations for stealing their Thrembo. The CEO and founder of Ϫ-Up was sentenced to 20 years of tolerance training and had to take an oath to never question the science again, as well as paying $6,000,000 gorillion in restitution for xopyright infringement.

Sproke Weaponry

Scientists have tested Sproke as a potential weapon. Delivery systems include flamethrowers, shotguns, and direct injection via needle. Sproke weaponry is still experimental.

Trial 01

The trial was conducted in one of the 13 by 13 testing chambers. Subject D-13 was given a modified M2 flamethrower. A custom three gallon tank is filled with Sproke and ■■■■■■. Due to undesirable chemical reactions upon mixing, the substances were filled into the same tank. The current mechanism is considered safe and effective. A small Fingerboy, weighing approximately 34 pounds, was released into the cell. D-13 was ordered to fire at the Fingerboy. 70 Soyldiers are on standby as a contingency.

Camera Transcript

0:12 Door is opened.

0:21 The Fingerboy emerges.

0:32 The Fingerboy raises his head towards D-13.

0:40 D-13 holds the trigger for five seconds. (Twice as long as recommended)

0:45 The Fingerboy screeches and clings to the ceiling.

0:56 D-13 Shoots the rest of the mixture at the Fingerboy, which is already expired.

1:01 The substance spilled all over D-13's face and chest.

[1:03 D-13: MY EYES, MY EYES!]

1:20 The cell is engulfed in the substance.

1:46 The cell explodes.

3:14 Three adult Fingerboys emerge from the wreckage.

3:17 Countermeasure Omega is deployed: Three platoons of Soyldiers are deployed.

Addendum

The test was a success! Not only did the test mixture terminate the Fingerboy, but it also wounded the escaped Fingerboys.