The Soysylum
Established in 19XX, The Soy Asylum (better known as the Soysylum) is a mental hospital dedicated to rehabilitating soyteens that have gone schizo. It hosts several teams of psychiatric and medical proffessionals and has had ██ successful rehabilitations. The Asylum has NOT been the subject of any controversy, it is NOT a front for anything else, it does not contain ANYTHING that science cannot explain and YOU WILL NOT INVESTIGATE FURTHER WITHOUT THE PROPER CLEARANCE.
Location
The Soy Asylum is currently the largest site in operation, located in ████████, Israel. The building is surrounded by a vast desert landscape with a sole mountain protruding from it. At the base of the mountain, a singular metal door can be seen. As of now, this is the only entrance into the Asylum because... It just is, Okay? Don't question it further, soyim.
Currently, there are multiple branch locations:
- Capital Reef National Park,
- █████, Burundi.
- █████, Ivory Coast
Mission Statement
The Soy Asylum is dedicated to the procurement, treatment, and containment of all dangerous schizos as well as any anomalous objects or patients. All soysylum staff trust in The Science above all else. Praise Fauci.
Any anomalous findings WILL be addressed by trained staff. The public WILL be protected. Dangerous schizos or anomalies WILL be contained, treated, and otherwise Science'd The Shit Out Of.
Q&A
When contacting public authorities, mass media or any other single civilians, every personell MUST follow this list:
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What is Soysylum? | Soysylum is wholesome and LGBTQA++ friendly mental hospital, dedicated to mood improving, bigotry curing and HRT providing! |
| Can i join? | Of course! But at first you shall ask your local rabbi, thoughever only xhe can decide may you le participate or not. Btw you are so valid, so dont even ask, just wait until rabbi tells you xhemself! |
| Is it safe there? | It's hecking the most saferino place on the Earth! Our head centers locations are more secret than the original Fauci Golden Funko Pop figure blueprint, so no chud could track you down to prevent your premium HRT session! |
| Where are your money goes from? | We are proud to say that we are gaining support from all the NATO members, EU members, the independent state of Israel, Blackrock inc., The Vanguard Group, SSGA, The World Economic Forum, Funko inc., Marvel Comics, Nintendo, Pfizer inc., Wakanda, UCM, hecking Tony Stark, George Floyd and many others great people and companies! |
| I heard rumors that... | Oh, im sorry, will you really let those chuddies brainwash you with their hecking psyops? Now, close your eyes, slowly breathe in and out... Remember, what have we achieved. The science always accompany us along our path. And only the science is the one, that can tell you an incontrovertible, testable, repeatable trvth. Trust us. Trust the science! |
| Who is the founder of the Soysylum? | The famous Dr.Soyberg is the root of the whole organization of Soysylum by himself! Though the history of the place is kept as corporate secret, what most important is the man himself, the living legend. Dr. Soyberg guided the place creation all by himself, erected a whole complex in the middle of nowhere! As now, he is very busy with his colossal list of work, so dont ever ever ever ever ever try to contact him, better call Dr.Soystein instead. |
| Ayo nigguh i feel yo sum drippin and shiiiiet can i borrow som cash in dat joint fo reeal fast aight? | [DATA LOCKED UNTIL NEXT BLM RIOT | ALL PREVIOUS COLLECTED MATERIAL MUST BE REDIRECTED TO DR.CHUDMAN] |
List of Administrators (current and past)
Soot (19XX-2010) - former Admin and founder of the Sharty. Oversaw the construction of the Soysylum before ultimately giving power over to Dr. Soyberg.
Dr. Soyberg (2010-2020) - Well known Administrator, responsible for implementing the C.A.L.M. (Calming, Atmospheric, Lown Meditation) Program. Was unfortunately killed in a freak accident.
Dr. Soystein (2020-Present) - Mentored by Dr. Soyberg, he took a hardliner approach to curing patients after the incident. He usually shoves meds and Sproke down patient's throats in hoping that they will get better. If this does not work, he kills them.
-
Soot, the first Administrator of the Soysylum
-
Soyberg, the second administrator of the Soysylum
-
Dr. Soystein, the third and current Administrator of the Soysylum
