Patient-088
Patient File ID: 088
Threat Level: Chudclid
Prescribed Medication: High-Dose BBC and Intravenous Anti-Simpactants
 | |
| ID: | 088 |
| Name: | Bartholomew "Blushjak" Simpington |
| Threat level: | Chudclid |
| Filed: | 22nd July 2026 |
| By: | Dr. ████████ |
Patient Description[edit | edit source]
Patient-088, commonly referred to by staff as "Blushjak," is a resident at the Soysylum exhibiting severe, terminal-stage parasocial attachment disorder. He is a 26-year-old male, approximately 5'9", with a completely bald head, a patchy neckbeard, and thick, black-rimmed rectangular glasses. His most defining physical trait is a permanent, unnaturally bright pink blush painted across his cheeks, which remains visible even when he is unconscious or in total darkness. He maintains an unsettling, unwavering wide smile at all times.
Patient-088 suffers from crippling delusions of grandeur regarding his relationships with internet micro-celebrities, VTubers, and digital avatars. Due to a profound lack of social awareness, he is highly volatile when his "waifus" are criticized. He possesses an anomalous capability classified as the "Notice Me" aura. When triggered, usually by a perceived slight against his favorite streamer or a dropped internet connection, his permanently blushing cheeks begin to emit a blinding, radioactive pink luminescence. This light inflicts weaponized, debilitating second-hand cringe upon anyone within a 20-meter radius, causing immediate muscular paralysis and spontaneous financial loss (usually via involuntary digital donations). The anomalous paralysis only ceases when an affected victim verbally tells Patient-088, "You are my little chuddy," at which point his glow subsides and he reverts to a docile, submissive state. He was apprehended and admitted to the Soysylum after paralyzing an entire artist's alley at a convention in █████ while attempting to propose to a cardboard cutout.
Containment Procedure[edit | edit source]
Patient-088 is to be held in a heavily modified containment cell retrofitted to resemble a disorganized, dimly lit gaming bedroom. The cell must be soundproofed with acoustic foam panels (RGB lighting strips are mandatory to keep the patient pacified). Access requires dual-keycard authorization and retinal scans, and all interacting personnel must be equipped with Standard Issue ATV-9 (Anti-Tranime Visor) goggles to prevent accidental exposure to his luminescent blush.
To prevent him from chimping out and activating his aura, Patient-088 must be supplied with a continuous, uninterrupted loop of pre-recorded VTuber streams on a dual-monitor setup, alongside an unplugged mechanical keyboard for him to aggressively type on. If the artificial "viewer count" on his screen drops below 1,000, he will immediately enter a state of severe distress. During designated meal times, Patient-088 is strictly prohibited from being served standard Soysylum rations; he requires a diet consisting solely of microwaved chicken tenders and heavily caffeinated powdered energy drinks. Any attempt to introduce leafy greens or traditional sunlight into his cell will result in high-decibel screeching and immediate containment breach protocols.
