Patient-010
 | |
| ID: | 010 |
| Name: | "Pearson Tree" |
| Threat level: | Soyclid |
| Filed: | November 1st, 2021 |
| By: | Dr. Louie |
Patient File ID: 010
Containment Rating: Soyfe
Patient Discription[edit | edit source]
Despite not moving, the pearsons are talking, breathing, pears with Cobson's face superimposed on it, thus making them patients. The tree has the face of Impjak superimposed near the branches of the tree, and like the pears, it can talk, breathe, and move its branches around, making it a patient also. Nobody eat the pears of this tree, as they are lethal to soyjaks. Dr. Louie was hospitalized because of eating one. Symptoms are listed in the table.
| Upon Eating | 15 Minutes after Eating | 30 Minutes after Eating | 1 Hour after Eating |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nausea, Vomiting | Ataxia, Hallucinations | Diarrhea | Cardiac Arrest |
Addendum[edit | edit source]
In Dagestan, Russia, a pear company was filed a lawsuit due to selling poisonous pears to stores. 37-year-old man Vladimir Grigorevich Koshkin unfortunately passed away due to the pearsons. Upon further examination, the pears and trees could talk. The Soysylum was called over by the Russian Federation's State Duma to secure Patient-010 and its instances. Dr. Larpson and Dr. Soyowad arrived on the scene in 1991. The following is an audio log, recorded from Dr. Larpson's walkie-talkie.
Audio Log[edit | edit source]
Dr. Larpson: Hello?
Dr. Soyowad: Hello.
Dr. Larpson: Coast is clear, proceed to orchard.
Patient-010-1: WHO Y'ALL ███████!? (Translated from Russian)
Dr. Larpson: You know what they're saying?
Dr. Soyowad: They said "Who y'all ███████?". Holy ESL.
Dr. Larpson: I'm not ESL, retard.
Dr. Soyowad: I'm not talking about you.
[Patient-010 shakes its branches and instances out of fear]
Dr. Larpson: WHAT THE FUCK!? Trees don't shake like that!
Patient-010: JUST ANSWER THEM ALREADY! (Translated from Russian)
Dr. Soyowad: Hello. We are the Soysylum- (Translated from Russian) [Patient-010-1 interrupts Dr. Soyowad]
Patient-010-1: WHAT IS THE SOYSYLUM, ██████? (Translated from Russian)
[Dr. Soyowad gases the tree and its fruits with Grade-B Copium]
[Dr. Larpson gets out shovel and trowel from his backpack]
Dr. Larpson: How do I say "It won't hurt buddy, just remain still for me."
Dr. Soyowad: Это не заболит, голубчик, стойте за меня.
[Dr. Larpson begins to get the tree out of the ground with the shovel and trowel]
[After 3Ϫ minutes, Dr. Larpson successfully gets the tree and its roots out of the ground]
[Dr. Larpson turns off walkie-talkie]
| Patient-010 is part of a series on |
| The Soysylum |
|---|
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