Patient-043
- Patient File ID:** 043
- Threat Level:** Chudclid
- Prescribed Medication:** High-dose Copium Inhalants, twice daily
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| ID: | 043 |
| Name: | Suku-Cob |
| Threat level: | Chudclid |
| Filed: | 22nd July 2026 |
| By: | Dr. ████████ |
Patient Description[edit | edit source]
Patient-043, colloquially known by facility staff as "Suku-Cob" or "The Hakutaku Gem," is a non-humanoid entity currently contained within the maximum-security wing of the Soysylum. Physically, the patient resembles a bizarre, fleshy amalgamation of a "Sukusuku Hakutaku" (a mascot derived from the character Keine Kamishirasawa) and the distinct, hyper-realistic facial features of the "Cobson" variant. It measures roughly 2'4" in length, possesses four stubby legs, a rotund blue and white patterned body, and wears a distinctive blue academic hat adorned with a large red ribbon.
Despite its plush-like, quadrupedal body, Patient-043 possesses a highly detailed, human-like face complete with glasses, flushed cheeks, and a perpetually gaping, screaming mouth. The patient displays symptoms of severe internet-induced psychosis and acute megalomania, frequently screaming about "gems," "brimstone," and "saving the sharty." Patient-043 was apprehended in ██████, Japan, after it was found hoarding vintage CRT monitors in an abandoned arcade, aggressively shrieking at local authorities who attempted to confiscate its electronics.
Patient-043 possesses a unique and highly destructive anomalous defense mechanism. When exposed to digital content it deems "coal" or if its red ribbon is touched by unapproved personnel, it will inhale deeply and release a devastating, high-frequency "NASAL" shriek. This screech reaches upwards of 165 decibels and induces immediate, debilitating migraines, inner-ear bleeding, and a sense of profound secondhand embarrassment in all personnel within a 20-meter radius. The entity only ceases its shrieking when verbally reassured by staff that it is, in fact, a "gem."
Containment Procedure[edit | edit source]
Patient-043 is to be kept in a 5m x 5m Soundproof Enclosure at all times. The walls must be lined with heavy-duty acoustic dampening foam to neutralize potential shrieking events. Under no circumstances is the reference image file **5368 - cobson funny glasses imperishable_night kamishirasawa_keine meme soyjak sukusuku_hakutaku whale wtf.png** to be shown to the entity. Viewing this specific file induces a paradoxical rage-state where the patient becomes self-aware of its own absurdity and attempts to violently consume its own tail.
The containment cell must be furnished with a functioning, heavy-duty CRT television continuously looping gameplay of *Touhou 8: Imperishable Night* on Lunatic difficulty. If the screen powers down, or if the gameplay drops below 60 frames per second, Patient-043 will curl into a dense ball and launch itself at the reinforced glass doors at speeds exceeding 75 mph.
Dietary requirements consist of three daily bowls of standard-issue Soysylum Bug Slurry, which must be garnished with rare, vintage internet memes printed on edible rice paper to keep the entity placated. Personnel interacting with Patient-043 must wear industrial noise-canceling headphones, Kevlar shin-guards, and are strictly forbidden from making direct eye contact with its screaming maw during feeding times.
Addendum 043-A: Incident Report[edit | edit source]
On 4th May 2025, a junior researcher accidentally referred to Patient-043's hat as a "cringe fedora." Patient-043 immediately underwent a rapid cellular expansion, swelling to three times its normal mass, and breached the containment door by ramming it with its newly reinforced body. It proceeded to roll down Sector 4 like a bowling ball, flattening two guards while screaming incoherently about the "death of internet culture." Containment was only re-established when Dr. ████████ threw a limited edition physical copy of a 2012 meme compilation into a reinforced holding cell, successfully baiting the entity inside before sealing the blast doors.
