Patient-042
Patient File ID: 042
Threat Level: Weebclid
Prescribed Medication: Intravenous Copium, 500mg Anti-Delusion Suppressants
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| ID: | 042 |
| Name: | Osakajak |
| Threat level: | Weebclid |
| Filed: | 22nd July 2026 |
| By: | Dr. ████████ |
Patient Description[edit | edit source]
Patient-042, colloquially referred to by Soysylum staff as "Osakajak," is a highly erratic and continuously perspiring resident of the facility. The subject presents as a baffling biological anomaly: while functioning under the intense delusion that she is a slice-of-life anime protagonist, she inexplicably grows a coarse, rapid-onset neckbeard despite otherwise female-presenting physiology. As seen in her intake photo, perfectly captured in the file youmu osaka.png, Patient-042's eyes entirely lack pupils, remaining locked in a permanent, wide-eyed stare of hyper-fixation, existential dread, and overstimulation.
Patient-042 is 5'4", of unverified age (she loudly insists she has been a high school student since 2002), and resides in Pod #211, heavily isolated from the general population. She suffers from severe hallucinatory anime-tropism, chronic terminally-online syndrome, and a violent aversion to "3D reality." She demands to be dressed exclusively in a pink and white sailor-style school uniform. If this uniform is removed, or even washed using standard Soysylum "normalfag" detergent, she experiences a catastrophic mental break.
When agitated, usually by staff attempting to explain real-world concepts like employment, or the fact that subtitles do not hover in the air in real life, Patient-042 enters a violent "Sata Andagi" panic frenzy. During this rage state, her jaw unhinges to highly exaggerated proportions, and she emits a high-frequency, ear-piercing shriek that induces immediate cringe-paralysis and vertigo in anyone within a 50-meter radius. This anomalous area-of-effect attack only wears off if a staff member loudly says, "Oh my Fauci." Once the de-escalation phrase is spoken, her jaw snaps shut, and she instantly becomes docile, retreating to a corner to rock back and forth. She was admitted to the Soysylum after causing a mass acoustic hysteria event at an anime convention in █████ when the vendors ran out of imported melon bread.
Containment Procedure[edit | edit source]
Patient-042 is to be held in a heavily soundproofed Class-III containment cell, structurally reinforced to withstand her extreme acoustic anomalies. The interior of the cell has been painted with flat colors and furnished with 2D cardboard cutouts resembling a Japanese high school classroom to keep her baseline anxiety levels manageable. Access requires a dual retinal scan and a thorough vetting to ensure no personnel entering are carrying or wearing deodorant, which she perceives as a chemical weapon.
If Patient-042 is not provided with a daily allotment of sketchpads, an outdated CRT television playing a continuous loop of low-resolution anime, and at least three (3) plush toys, she will begin to aggressively chimp out, violently headbutting the reinforced glass while reciting disjointed Japanese vocabulary. During meal times, she is absolutely forbidden from being served standard cafeteria food. Instead, she must be fed a diet consisting exclusively of Pocky, Ramune, and heavily processed microwaveable meals. Do not, under any circumstances, serve her actual, authentic Japanese cuisine, as her digestive system will aggressively reject anything that is not considered "2D slop."
